an update on my love life. or well I don’t actually would call this a love life. AN UPDATE ON DUDES IN MY LIFE. So for some time my best friend has been trying to find me a dude to be my fuck buddy. One day she texts me saying she may have found one for me. At first I thought he looked weird and unattractive, but he did have a body. A few weeks passed and I decided to follow him on twitter since after my best friend mentioning him he seemed to pop up on my timeline a lot. He followed me back and we started talking a lot through twitter. We have things in common like how cool. He has a beard, a body like a mentioned before, and is nerdy. I have a strong attraction to dudes w beards and who are nerdy. Like gahdamn I want to sexually destroy you. Anyway, my best friend’s boyfriend recently graduated basic training for the air force and she decided to throw him a little kick back before he would leave again for school. We all are having a good time and guess who showed up to the kick back? That dude I was secretly crushing on. I remember laughing so hard bc I was slightly embarrassed at how fucked up I was. Pretty sure I looked hella throwed. First time meeting this dude in person. A cool thing he did was give me one of his beers before he left. I still have it. never drank it, it’s up in my closet. Being a girl, I saved it as a memory of the first thing he’s given me. Gosh that sounds so lame. Anyway a couple days pass from that night and I’m at target trying to find a magazine that Gaga is on. When I had another unsuccessful try at finding this magazine I start heading out. I’m all bummed and I’m looking down and I hear a “hey!” I look up and it’s that dude. Jokingly I said “omg are you stalking me now?!” we already had these jokes from talking on twitter. He just laughed and said he was there to get a case for a new phone. I remember my heart beat speeding up a bit. Like wow thank god I decided to dress nice that day. Anyway, more days maybe a week or so pass and he goes out one night w his friends and gets drunk. He starts snap chatting me and soon after asks for my number. I was a little excited and I never just give my number out easily. I had first given him Mike Jone’s number and I was so shocked he had no idea I gave him that number. He literally texted it. Going on, we have been texting almost every day since and snap chatting a lot and talking on twitter. He started following me on my other social media (IG & Vine) w/o me even knowing he had one. And well usually one person of the two new people talking starts to catch a little feeling. Well that’s me…… I have a developing crush on this dude… And I’ve found out he’s talking to some other girl who I now remember was at my best friend’s kick back. Shit blows. Why do I gotta crush on someone who isn’t fully available??? And I was just thinking to myself that he may actually like me more than friend. But I for sure doubt it now. And I was just telling my other best friend how I was thinking of telling him I have a baby crush. But since he’s already talking to some girl. I’m keeping that to myself… I already know he’ll say he only likes me as a friend. So I’ll just put own self in the friendzone. I want to start dating but all these guys that try to talk to me, I find it so weird. One of my friends of some years now likes me and I see him as a bro. He’s a cute face boy but he’s one of my bros. Also my ex texted me last weekend saying it’s time to be friends. And well it’s not going so great. Right away he was saying how I’m TRYING to be someone I’m not? And how he resented me when he was with me for four years. How he wasn’t emotionally connected to me. And like all this bull shit that kept pissing me off but yah know I told him we have to be mature. I would have normally charged him up for that but I just kept texting back jokingly and just keeping what I really wanted to say to myself. But as an evil ex that I am. I am trying to post about dudes and selfies looking extra cute. Just so he knows he’ll never have a chica prettier than me. Plus he’s really let himself go since I broke up w him. I want to tell him to get a haircut at the least but I know he’ll say something back that’ll piss me off. Like shouldn’t you be looking hot to make me wish I didn’t break up with you? Like when he posted a picture of himself in his senior year of high school. I jokingly said “what happened??” yah know like damn you looked good and now you look like shit. and his reply was “you.” clever, knew he’d say something like that. And just yeah, I miss being in a relationship. Mostly the lovey dovey stuff. The sex. especially sex. I haven’t had sex in almost three months. Longest I’ve ever gone without it. And the dude I last had sex with has his own chica and liveslike 8-9 hrs away. I’m pretty sure he cheated on her with me when he was visiting.Or maybe he wasn’t who knows, I really don’t care. Everyone does something “bad” whether they are in a relationship or not. I actually don’t want anything serious with a dude. Just a dude who’s hotter than my ex that I can fuck would be tight.